Motivation

There comes a time in every persons life when they realize that they must grow up; that the ways of their youth are now the past and maturity must set in. For many, this comes with the arrival of a child, wether planned or unplanned. The realization of parenthood is a sober one. Other people arrive at this point not through gaining of a child but loss of a parent or friend or loved one. Mine came, as most of my falls seem to have come as well, from a woman.
We are often told that "true love is the souls recognition of its counterpoint in another" or something to that effect. While I do understand where that comes from, I think true love has other signs. It is easy for someone to "love" while the feelings are there. The "honeymoon" stage of romance is a wonderful, emotional, happy time in which the beloved can do no wrong and has no faults. This of course fades and fades rapidly. What then remains? Is the love gone? It depends. If that was the basis of the entire relationship than yes that relationship is over. If it was built on something more solid than no. Do you think a mother enjoys rising in the middle of the night to feed a newborn child? Do you think parents enjoy working long hours to provide for their children? Do you think children enjoy sitting at the bedside of their parents watching them slowly die? Of course not! But love demands it. Love says that I will put you above myself, your good above my own good.
So why in a blog dedicated to becoming a better man would I talk so long of love? Because a real man loves. It's in our nature. Why are there so many movies where the hero comes swinging in to rescue the fair maiden in distress? We want to be a hero! We want to love! Of course our society says we shouldn't feel love. We are to be tough. And yes I will be the first to admit that a man is to be tough to a certain extent. But when I look at my own father I see a strong man who works hard to provide for his family and yet at the same time I never ever doubted his love for me. I knew he loved me from the time I was born up to now. We are called to love.
What stirs a man out of mediocrity? In my life I have met many women who would gladly have let me do whatever I desired with them. Few have been a challenge. I meet women all the time, women I refer to as dateable but not marry-able. Why? Because like every man before me and every man after me I seek a true challenge. I seek a woman who will NOT give me her heart but will make me earn it. I seek a woman who makes me want to be a better man. I seek a woman that I do not grow bored with. I seek a woman who challenges me to be a better man, who is willing to correct me with love when I am wrong. I seek a woman who wants a true man, a woman who will allow me to be her hero not because she needs it but because she realizes it's what I need. I seek a woman I can cry in front of and feel no shame. I seek a woman I can tell my deepest secrets and aspirations and who will support me. I seek a true woman, a strong woman, a loving woman. Why do women frustrate men so much? Because they are supposed to be a mystery. For far too long, we as men have become acclimated to women who are no mystery and so when we meet one who is we quit. We have grown lazy as men, accustomed to instant gratification, forgetting how rewarding a challenge is. We desire challenge. Who enjoys a one-sided game in any sport? What use is the reward if it cost nothing to attain? I met a girl, a woman really, who made me want to be a better man. This is my journey that I am welcoming you on with me, my journey to be the man she deserves.
Peace