There are many things we as humans don't like to hear, can't is one of them. We hate knowing that for whatever reason we do not have the ability or money or time or whatever else may be necessary to do what we want. But weakness is a fact of life. At some point we all will hit a wall. Does this make us weak people? I would say no. A true man knows his weaknesses and limitations and is not afraid or ashamed of them. He recognizes that this is a simple fact of his humanity. We are not all powerful. We have clear and defined limits. What matters is our desire to push those limits as far as we can. We must learn to respect our weakness. It would be stupid of me to attempt a trans-Saharan marathon in the condition I am now. I would probably end up dead and people would say, "He clearly did not know his own limits."
Our society seems an odd mix of things. On the one hand, we praise those who exceed the normal human limits like the gymnast who contorts his body and wins an Olympic medal. And yet on the other, we regard as stupid all those who attempt and fail to push their limits. We are comfortable with the status quo and so when people we actually personally know attempt to push themselves to the max we become uneasy about ourselves. We wonder how they are able to do that which we feel is impossible or, at the very least, improbable. We only truly find our limits when we press to the limit. We see a wall 10 miles away and know that when we arrive at it we will not be able to surpass it so we simply stop and don't even attempt to get any closer. Our mind says, "What's the point of going these 10 miles just to be stopped by a wall? What a waste of effort!" But I think that if we press on we may just find that the journey is what's important and not the destination. There are many things I may dislike about my job but, when it comes down to it, I will be eternally grateful for all the experiences and friends it has given me. Life is about the journey. It is a journey filled with difficulties and pain. There is some joy in life but there is mostly pain. It's simply a matter of knowing that no matter how hard and tedious and difficult life is, those moments of joy are worth it. The day you or I decide that those few and oftentimes far between moments of joy are NOT worth it is the day that life is no longer worth it. So, in short, have a hunger for life. Seek out those moments when you fully push the limits. There is no greater feeling than knowing that, at the end of the day, you gave your all, I guarantee that. This is another way to be a better man.
Peace
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Motivation
There comes a time in every persons life when they realize that they must grow up; that the ways of their youth are now the past and maturity must set in. For many, this comes with the arrival of a child, wether planned or unplanned. The realization of parenthood is a sober one. Other people arrive at this point not through gaining of a child but loss of a parent or friend or loved one. Mine came, as most of my falls seem to have come as well, from a woman.
We are often told that "true love is the souls recognition of its counterpoint in another" or something to that effect. While I do understand where that comes from, I think true love has other signs. It is easy for someone to "love" while the feelings are there. The "honeymoon" stage of romance is a wonderful, emotional, happy time in which the beloved can do no wrong and has no faults. This of course fades and fades rapidly. What then remains? Is the love gone? It depends. If that was the basis of the entire relationship than yes that relationship is over. If it was built on something more solid than no. Do you think a mother enjoys rising in the middle of the night to feed a newborn child? Do you think parents enjoy working long hours to provide for their children? Do you think children enjoy sitting at the bedside of their parents watching them slowly die? Of course not! But love demands it. Love says that I will put you above myself, your good above my own good.
So why in a blog dedicated to becoming a better man would I talk so long of love? Because a real man loves. It's in our nature. Why are there so many movies where the hero comes swinging in to rescue the fair maiden in distress? We want to be a hero! We want to love! Of course our society says we shouldn't feel love. We are to be tough. And yes I will be the first to admit that a man is to be tough to a certain extent. But when I look at my own father I see a strong man who works hard to provide for his family and yet at the same time I never ever doubted his love for me. I knew he loved me from the time I was born up to now. We are called to love.
What stirs a man out of mediocrity? In my life I have met many women who would gladly have let me do whatever I desired with them. Few have been a challenge. I meet women all the time, women I refer to as dateable but not marry-able. Why? Because like every man before me and every man after me I seek a true challenge. I seek a woman who will NOT give me her heart but will make me earn it. I seek a woman who makes me want to be a better man. I seek a woman that I do not grow bored with. I seek a woman who challenges me to be a better man, who is willing to correct me with love when I am wrong. I seek a woman who wants a true man, a woman who will allow me to be her hero not because she needs it but because she realizes it's what I need. I seek a woman I can cry in front of and feel no shame. I seek a woman I can tell my deepest secrets and aspirations and who will support me. I seek a true woman, a strong woman, a loving woman. Why do women frustrate men so much? Because they are supposed to be a mystery. For far too long, we as men have become acclimated to women who are no mystery and so when we meet one who is we quit. We have grown lazy as men, accustomed to instant gratification, forgetting how rewarding a challenge is. We desire challenge. Who enjoys a one-sided game in any sport? What use is the reward if it cost nothing to attain? I met a girl, a woman really, who made me want to be a better man. This is my journey that I am welcoming you on with me, my journey to be the man she deserves.
Peace
We are often told that "true love is the souls recognition of its counterpoint in another" or something to that effect. While I do understand where that comes from, I think true love has other signs. It is easy for someone to "love" while the feelings are there. The "honeymoon" stage of romance is a wonderful, emotional, happy time in which the beloved can do no wrong and has no faults. This of course fades and fades rapidly. What then remains? Is the love gone? It depends. If that was the basis of the entire relationship than yes that relationship is over. If it was built on something more solid than no. Do you think a mother enjoys rising in the middle of the night to feed a newborn child? Do you think parents enjoy working long hours to provide for their children? Do you think children enjoy sitting at the bedside of their parents watching them slowly die? Of course not! But love demands it. Love says that I will put you above myself, your good above my own good.
So why in a blog dedicated to becoming a better man would I talk so long of love? Because a real man loves. It's in our nature. Why are there so many movies where the hero comes swinging in to rescue the fair maiden in distress? We want to be a hero! We want to love! Of course our society says we shouldn't feel love. We are to be tough. And yes I will be the first to admit that a man is to be tough to a certain extent. But when I look at my own father I see a strong man who works hard to provide for his family and yet at the same time I never ever doubted his love for me. I knew he loved me from the time I was born up to now. We are called to love.
What stirs a man out of mediocrity? In my life I have met many women who would gladly have let me do whatever I desired with them. Few have been a challenge. I meet women all the time, women I refer to as dateable but not marry-able. Why? Because like every man before me and every man after me I seek a true challenge. I seek a woman who will NOT give me her heart but will make me earn it. I seek a woman who makes me want to be a better man. I seek a woman that I do not grow bored with. I seek a woman who challenges me to be a better man, who is willing to correct me with love when I am wrong. I seek a woman who wants a true man, a woman who will allow me to be her hero not because she needs it but because she realizes it's what I need. I seek a woman I can cry in front of and feel no shame. I seek a woman I can tell my deepest secrets and aspirations and who will support me. I seek a true woman, a strong woman, a loving woman. Why do women frustrate men so much? Because they are supposed to be a mystery. For far too long, we as men have become acclimated to women who are no mystery and so when we meet one who is we quit. We have grown lazy as men, accustomed to instant gratification, forgetting how rewarding a challenge is. We desire challenge. Who enjoys a one-sided game in any sport? What use is the reward if it cost nothing to attain? I met a girl, a woman really, who made me want to be a better man. This is my journey that I am welcoming you on with me, my journey to be the man she deserves.
Peace
The Beginning
Every story has a start, every journey a beginning. This is my journey. I am a pretty typical American male in most ways, I'm a little bit chubby, I like being around beautiful women and the like however, I also like to think that maybe I am a little bit different. Maybe this is a narcissistic attempt to increase a feeling of self worth or maybe it's an observation based on what I see in modern men. It seems that we have become complacent. When did just getting along become the basis of a lifestyle? When did just mediocre become acceptable? When did doing the bare minimum in a cubicle become what a man desired? What happened to the desire for adventure? What happened to the desire to be a hero, to rescue the damsel in distress, to be chivalrous?
And so begins our journey to recapture the essence of manhood in a culture that emasculates us. It matters not to me what religion you follow or what political party you hold to be correct. What matters is the desire to be a better man. So if you are willing maybe you can also tag along for the ride.
Peace.
And so begins our journey to recapture the essence of manhood in a culture that emasculates us. It matters not to me what religion you follow or what political party you hold to be correct. What matters is the desire to be a better man. So if you are willing maybe you can also tag along for the ride.
Peace.
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